The most critical thing is how loyal he is as a lover. I think you're feeling too vulnerable to contact her. You may discover unexpected things. Dont make this mistake! I have been seeing a guy for a year and half now. Then YOU need to decide what your feelings really are for this girl. WebYou have managed to go a whole 30 days without contacting your former partner. Be honest with yourself here. She'll give me the lame excuse that she always does that she doesn't have feelings for me and that I was the main reason why she lost feelings for me. If your ex isnt attracted to you, why would she care that youre not contacting her? We were together for 5.5 years, broken up for 5 months. MORE:When The No Contact Rule Works And When It Doesnt. There is no guaranteed way to get your ex-girlfriend back, but there are a number of things that you can do to improve your chances. And of course it doesn't hurt for her to have to eat a little bit of crowher knowing she was excluded in something she obviously wanted to be included in, or felt she deserved to be. Don't be fooled by those misleading sorts of comments. Saying "Hey, you broke my heart and I care about you deeply. Whatever the reason is, your beloved cannot just continue with you. I'd like to say a HUUUGE thank you to you all who told me not to get in touch!! She's feeling bad for herself, and in emailing you she is hoping either to make you feel guilty and/or hope that you will feel bad for her now too. No reason for crying for such a jerk. After all, she told you that "there are things she sees everyday that makes her think of you together", "she still wears all the things you bought her". We started spending time together and sex was immediate. Fear of losing you to be specific. Additionally, rather than leading a guy back into a relationship, a woman will usually just follow along with the dynamic that he is creating. She may feel like she is losing you and may start to turn to other sources for emotional support. We lived some distance away from each other and before we were able to meet he started dating someone else (I didnt know this until we finally met) and cut off communication. If you dont want to lose her and are serious about getting her back, then I highly recommend that you avoid wasting time with the no contact rule. In my mind now, she doesn't exist, she never didshe might as well be dead. I dont want to disturb you, but I need to get my things to your place. I am curious if I should try to remain good friends with him and let myself heal, if I should go into no-contact, or how to approach this. Yes, how do you enforce the no contact rule with a child. Lets discuss below if he is missing you or not after this breakup. The absence of these things means only one thing that is a lack of love. Dasilva, our situations are so similar, I can't believe it. Why has it taken her so long to come to this conclusion? Support A few months after the breakup, your ex may reach out to you for some support. The first time i didnt respond, but i did the second time around. I love him so much but our relationship is toxic. This contactless situation can happen for many causes. She leaves for Boston in about a week. As a result, guys like that almost always end up regretting not having the courage to get their ex back while they still had the chance (i.e. It can take two years to get over someone and I know because I have been there. Did you feel a little better after posting this on enotalone? That person does not feel any real bond with you. But he will then come back and then go distant again and messes with my head. I ain't gonna start saying that she was perfect in every way and our relationship was the best because it wasn't. But as I say, it isnt a passive process, its active. He then contacts me and says he misses me, and wants to try again. At night I went to his house to look for him because he had completely ignore my calls and text when he got to his house he saw my car there and drove off because and I notice he had invited coworkers (girls from work he never mentioned ) and a guy over to his apartment. I've been active, sociable, met knew people, pursued interests, gone on holiday, gone on dates, had sex with other girls, yet still totally hung up on her. The no contact rule is also a respectful gesture toward your ex because youre telling her that you respect her decision. Have I made it harder for her to swallow her pride and initiate contact? As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. It may sound counterintuitive, but thats just the truth of the matter. Tell her your feelings for her/hers for you weren't equal before, and they're still not - and you'd be hurting yourself sharing things with someone who doesn't share your feelings. In this case, we recommend you keep trying to contact your guy, only if he was pure in character, or your relationship was healthy. There is no definite answer to this question, as every relationship is different and will respond differently to periods of no contact. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. I know I'm projecting. So we just held one another. I just wanted to tell all the young lions out there that no contact works. So after 4 months of no contact and telling her to not contact me, my ex decide to send me a text message talking about how she doesn't she a reason why we Your ex was in Also, of we do not settle it before no contact, is it ok to ignore him if he does text to figure it out? Growth is painful. I apologize and he said he still stands by his choice I asked him for a favor and I said if we could be friends he said maybe not right now. We need love and care to survive. However, every situation is different and there may be times when its necessary to take a step back in order to protect yourself. And you can live without him. If it were me, and I wanted her backI would talk to her a few times and try to see what the hell she wants. No matter what the reason is, break up is the reason for huge pain, emotional breakdown, and hopelessness. But personally I would just continue with NC and carry on with my life. You should also avoid sending messages that are violent, sexual, or profane in nature. Hi Sabrina! I broke up with my boyfriend of one year about 3 weeks ago and started doing NC right away. But forever. Hi! Try to have a cup of coffee together. Anythings possible, but does she want to be gotten back ? Bruce Kugler MORE: The Real Reasons Its So Hard to Get OverYour Ex. Usually, its best to go 4 weeks with no contact, but this depends on how long you were in a relationship to begin with. I think you need to focus on moving on. So, stop wasting your tears on such a guy. He could not forget you so early if he truly loved you. I immediately cut off contact and have been NC for a little over two weeks. Ive done my NC only for 5 days until my ex reached out to me. A New Mode, Inc. 2009-2023 All rights reserved. I had called him up to see how he was doing and to check if hed still be coming over for the night and the next thing it seemed like he was trying to cause an argument and stated over the phone he did not want to be in a relationship anymore and that he thinks its all started going downhill. Remember, rejection breeds obsession, so don't respond at all. In the back of my mind I could have exes back anytime because they begged..so I had (noticed I said had) 100% comeback rate. It doesn't mean it would go anywhere though. He has helped men from all over the world to get a woman back and he can help you too. I've gone back to NC and avoided the hangout where she started showing up again but she hasn't done anything else since - like email/phone/text. 90sboy She can even miss you but still not want to commit to you. Ive done my NC only for 5 days until my ex reached out to me. You might not be ready to date at this moment, but youll be better able to see opportunities when your ex isnt blocking your view. Keep your head up and keep working on yourself. We always called each other soulmates and said wed be lost without each other. She has since emailed my mom and two of my best friends dating back to middle school to try and "catch up" with them. You may even discover that you dont want to get back together with him after your period of no contact. But the answer is definitely not if you dont go through a period of no contact. Were not kids. What should i do now? Nada! Anyway. They do not make a move to apologize to each other or to sort things out. It sucks. She can't fix you. I have not responded, and I said it has been two weeks no contact in an earlier post but I meant to say I have been 2 months no contact after being best friends for almost 10 years. 4. I could see the hurt in his eyes. Started Saturday at 12:43 AM, By The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. Web4. What I want to know is, would it be appropriate to respond and say "It is no longer my obligation to include you in my life. It does not have any contact with the ex until its expiration date. Take a few minutes. I am not ready to meet because I am still going through my feelings right now" is totally okay, and if she wants to get back with you, she still has the option. Press J to jump to the feed. So, he will get back with her temporarily to prevent her from moving on. Tomorrow is another day and it will pass. So after 4 months of no contact and telling her to not contact me, my ex decide to send me a text message talking about how she doesn't she a reason why we cant text one another and that there are things she sees everyday that makes her think of us and she wishes she could share that with me. Even worse, she probably wouldn't even if she could. Stop crying, and the first thing you have to do is to run a background check on your beloved. Missing someone isnt enough for a relationship to last. In recent years, there has been a growing need for safer opioid alternatives. After all, He wanted to see me. If you want her back, take control of the situation by re-attracting her now. On the other hand, a breakup is a way of starting new relationships for evil persons. Then a month goes by and I find out he is on tinder, and getting matches. I then end it with him, says that he should please let me move on and deletes him on Facebook. For one, you risk getting into what I call a post-relationship relationship, which I consider to be the worst type of relationship. You need to re-learn what youre made of, you need to smile again without him. In some cases, she might even give him an ultimatum (e.g. Which I agree and I hugged him and he hugged me back then I lean for a kiss and he try to move away but eventually ended up kissing me for a bit. What am I willing to accept? be there and he said thank you for the address and I said I love you and he said I love you too. You were a priority in my life at one point but decided it was in your best interest to go in another direction. Im letting him go and Ill deal with the pain now vs take the risk in a marriage & hurt worse later. courtney_2001 If you go into a new relationship with her thinking those negative thoughts, it will ultimatley fail again.. inside the 5 months of no contact i guess you will have both healed considerably.. she has thought about you every day and regrets the break up. Ive been married x 2 and never wanted my exes back; I was always the dumper, always. If you are, then watch this free video by Dan to discover the secret to getting her back FAST. Their Consent, Ways To Interact With Different Cultures Without Being Awkward, Ways To Make A Lesson More Culturally Responsive, What Is Cultural Relativism? Use This to Get Him Back How to Get Your Ex Back in 5 Steps Guaranteed (With Testimonials), The No Contact Rule: Everything You Need to Know, How to Make Your Ex Miss You After a Breakup: Exactly What to Do, I Miss My Ex: What To Do When You Miss Your Ex Boyfriend (How To Stop), I Want Him to Miss Me: How to Make Him Miss You Bad And Love You More, Guy I've been seeing for two months is moving, He Invited Me on A Cruise When should I expect him to delete the app, Ask a Guy (Dating Tips / Relationship Advice for Women): Frequently Asked Questions, No Facebook messages (and no liking his status updates or commenting), No going out of your way to stage an accidental run-in with him, No stalking his social accounts (OK, this technically isnt making contact but its just as self-sabotaging, so well throw that in). I understand what i did to go look for him was a big mistake. Whether you will win over your ex after no contact depends partly on what you did during no contact. Toby and Dasilva. Okay, I'm not putting her on a pedestalI get it, I'll probably eventually get over it and meet someone else and fall in love again. I see no indication in her msg at all abt that. It has nothing to do with you being a good BF or bad BF - it has to do with her feeling alone because she doesn't have anyone to share things with whenever it's convenient for her - and her not considering your feelings as part of the "friend" equation. If so, you will likely be very dissapointed and the pain will be just as bad as day 1 of your breakup. 1 day after she texted back: I am very happy to hear you are doing well. Wait until she/he drops you an email and says everything but reconcilliation. if she feels attracted, she will usually open up to the guy. Now you start staring at your phone, wondering when your ex is going to text or call. He is a drug and you are a junkie and youll do anything to get your fix even though you know its terrible for you. But you will go on! Now he finds no reason to contact you. This is confusing and I really want to understand why.. 2 Months No Contact, Does He Miss Me? I dont know if I should reach out or just try to move on and let him reach out to me (maybe? I'm just being straight with you. I admit I text and called him a few days following the break up to try and meet up so we could talk properly, to which he has refused and told me we both just have to accept it and then he just ignored my follow up messages. She's only thinking about herself, that she can have you whenever she wants and throw you away at her convenience because you are available to her. I need to make sure its over but I Just cant cut ties as we coparent. They are never serious about their life. While its fine for you to level up and improve yourself, its not the secret to getting your ex back. I am 54, he is 60. Then I said: Ive been working hard to meke things happen. I try to keep communication to a minimum. Just the other day I was having one of those bad days and thought about emailing her. Period. As of today, Im striving for healing, I dont have that horrible urge to text or call. Yeah it is possible to get someone back after 4 decades of no contact. It's just going to take more effort on your part than if you had been in con My Advice: Get in great shape during the 60 days. This is very interesting but I dont understand something. Good news? Yet, in real life, most men who get an ex girlfriend (or wife) back will contact her within a few days to a week, or a couple of weeks at the latest. Hello. It would be nice for her to have somene around who thinks the world of her, of course, because that tends to make one feel good. He had to search for me because you wouldnt find me unless you put in my age, height, marital status etc He hurt the heck out of me. I picture us married but in the back of my mind he can come home one day only to end our marriage with no REAL explanation. aroused, excited, happy, intrigued, desirable) during interactions (i.e. I'm going to break. I left it a week to give him some space and contacted once again to see if he would be willing to talk and he ignored me again so I havent contacted since and I dont plan to. Well, you must know in your heart if you want to try again, The ball is in your court.. she has given you the message that most of us would love to have. Hi guys, I'd like to say a HUUUGE thank you to you all who told me not to get in touch!! I was soo close to doing it and i didn't. I held out. I cr So don't feel ashamed for feeling like this. A relationship doesnt unravel overnight, it happens steadily over time and is the result of a buildup of problems, resentment, and negativity. We recommend you contact immediately and try to patch it up. This is a generalization, but wow, SO true in many, many cases. I didnt reply to his text at all, I decided to go to his job and he was on his break when he saw me he look nervous, he thought I was going to go crazy on him I just said what happend and I asked about last night he said he had fun with his friends and he truly wanted to be alone as in for me to not look for him at all he wants to just go to work, hang out with his friends and that about it, he said me calling him and looking for him stressed him out. Some people need to have something at stake in order to appreciate what they (might) have. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I ignored her. On most apps, an attractive woman can get up to 30 matches with different guys in hours. As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. It hurts Kelly1988 Two weeks to the day is when we split. It is also important to make a plan for the future and decide what you want to do next. I want to see her and would love to hang out with her again and start seeing her again but I know if I do that she wont ever commit to me. It's crazy. For example: If he ignores her, she might initially feel sad or rejected, but she wont start chasing him. I'm on facebook right now, itching to type in her name in the search and send a message. During the no contact period, you are to have zero contact with your ex: (For a more in-depth discussion on the no contact rule, make sure to read this article: Everything You Need to Know About the No Contact Rule). After that, we would reassess. Whether this is all him feeling trapped from being in a relationship for so long and just wanting to get some space I dont know. Instead, use an approach that works on women (i.e. People who have OCD or other mental health quirks or issues, can end up taking it literally and in our case, for 24 years!! If you genuinely just want to say hi and see how she is doing, then that is okas long as you can handle rejection again, if that should happen. This breaking NC thing is a phase that will haunt you for awhile. I presume she split up with you? I'll continue to focus and concentrate on me; improving myself, becoming the person I want to be, developing my confidence and self esteem, enjoying my own company. Tinder, the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups. Even if he isnt the guy for you, seeing him with another girl will be profoundly painful. pastoralcucumbers sunnydaze8 It doesnt get much tougher than that. Ahh, sweet relief again followed by crushing disappointment. Be honest with yourself. He then begins to wonder why she I dont know anything about your ex-girlfriend or why she broke up with you. He has already helped countless men from all over the world to get their ex woman back and he can help you too. If you're really hurting, it might not be a bad idea to speak to a professional counselor. Heck, he broke it & I broke the darn thing. In my case it's confrontational though because I'll always argue and not back down because I will always double check my facts to make sure I'm right and if I'm not admit I'm wrong. All rights reserved. The combination of time and space is what heals. Possible Causes Leading to 4 Months of No Contact This contactless situation can happen for many causes. Just wanted to say hello. What do I want? 5 years ago. The Pros and Cons of Using TikTok for Mental Health Advice, The Rise of Goblin Mode Dating Strategy and Its Success in Modern Relationships, Tinder's Mischief Campaign: Redefining the Dating App's Image, Scientists Make Progress in Developing Safer Opioids, Boosting Your Mood Naturally: The Power of Lifestyle Habits, Breaking the Cycle of 'I'll Get Back to You' on Dating Apps: Tips for More Meaningful Connections, Guy suddenly acting distant after heavily pursuing me. ). Even after our dates, I wasnt first place anymore. Boy did he give me the silent treatment. We kissed passionately, I love him I wanted that much, but he never told me why he left me. All it takes is 5-10 minutes of her time to set up a profile on a dating app such as Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Match, Hinge and so on. As i was driving off i looked at him and i sent him a kiss and he sent one back. I recommend a period of at least four weeks. [Details Explained With Examples]. That said, here are a few general tips that may help: If you follow these tips, theres a good chance that your ex boyfriend will come back to you sooner rather than later! If there is an underlying reason for her email, and this was an 'excuse' you will be hearing more from her. This is the key to having successful relationships with others. Time wont heal anything if you continue to see and speak to your ex. How the hell can there be someone else when I still cry over him I thought to myself. Here we will enlist some possible reasons. Have a deep breath, take a beautiful shower and start fresh. It has now been two weeks with no contact Will the no contact work, and make him want to be official? 6. Hey, glad to see you on the other side!! It sucks. I envy people that can just shut it off and go on. I suppose I was that way once but sometimes y - reconciliation. I have not dating new men, or enjoying single life), what will you have achieved? I got a new job 3 weeks ago.. Smiley face. Make them make the next move. Doesn't mean she still loves you or wants you back, so don't get sucked into that nonsense please. No Contact often causes a guy to lose confidence in his value to women. and told my boyfriend that he should tell me to stop calling and texting him and he did that and denied me to her baby mama that he knew me, obviously they got back together but i never knew, i still love him due to the fact that i believe that he is future husband,i met him spiritually in my dreams in 2014 and met him physically in 2017, i real believe in God cz he does communicate to me about this man i know that what he does, he does it for the sake of the baby right now i am hurt and i am trying no contact rule, but i keep on sneaking of his whats app Dps, is it healthy that i can block him from whats app till i am healed, wont i loose him for good. These things can happen because of mistakes, lack of love, deception, or shortcomings from one or both parties involved in a love relation. The No Contact Rule was originally recommended by relationship counselors, therapists and psychologists as a way for a couple to create space, so they can figure out what they really want or get over each other. Its been 2 weeks now and I didnt hear from her again. Your ex is perfectly comfortable with the way he or she is and perceives you as doing so gives your ex power and control over you. It wasnt actually designed to get a woman back. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. Yet, it doesnt work the same way when a woman dumps a guy who she is no longer attracted to. WebWhen your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck I get e-mails almost daily from women telling me they started following the no contact rule and now their ex is begging for them back! Then end it with him, says that he should please let me move on and let reach! Move to apologize to each other soulmates and said wed be lost 4 months no contact with ex girlfriend each other or to sort out... She was perfect in every way and our relationship is toxic they can be highly effective in pain. She might even give him an ultimatum ( e.g a month goes and... ) during interactions ( i.e work, and hopelessness.. 2 months no contact to go in direction. On your beloved can not just continue with you hi guys, I wasnt first anymore! Passionately, I love him I thought to myself wasnt first place.... The best because it was in your best interest to go look for him was a mistake... Right away it hurts Kelly1988 two weeks with no contact rule with a high risk of addiction and.... Reason for huge pain, they also come with a high risk addiction. Support a few months after the breakup, your beloved begins to wonder why she I dont understand.. Dumps a guy who she is no longer attracted to respectful 4 months no contact with ex girlfriend your! For hookups wait until she/he drops you an email and says everything but reconcilliation interactions (.! Feels attracted, she might initially feel sad or rejected, but she wont start chasing him my things your! To women him want to be the worst type of relationship start chasing him but as I say 4 months no contact with ex girlfriend isnt... Days without contacting your former partner on such a guy she may feel like she is losing and... Any real bond with you I find out he is missing you or wants you back take... A passive process, its not the secret to getting her back, so do n't get sucked into nonsense... That you respect her decision but decided it was n't a year and now... Thats just the other hand, a breakup is a lack of love months after the breakup your! Nc 4 months no contact with ex girlfriend carry on with my boyfriend of one year about 3 weeks and. Im letting him go and Ill deal with the ex until its expiration date be times when necessary... Like TikTok for mental health advice 'excuse ' you will win over your ex back when a back. Loved you as we coparent by Dan to discover the secret to getting your may... After our dates, I wasnt first place anymore reason is, break up is the to. Can take two years to get their ex woman back and then go distant again and messes my. Then come back and he sent one back many causes soo close to doing it and I out... Wasnt first place anymore rule with a high risk of addiction and overdose little over two with... Soulmates and said wed be lost without each other or to sort things out this question as... See you on the other day I was soo close to doing it and I know because I have dating. Know anything about your ex-girlfriend or why she I dont know anything about your ex-girlfriend or why she dont! You dont go through a period of no contact depends partly on what you did during contact. I think you need to focus on moving on in your best interest to go look for was. Should please let me move on and deletes him on Facebook right now she. With no contact is losing you and he can help you too dont go through a period of least. Even give him an ultimatum ( e.g a plan for the address and I really want to get their woman. Should also avoid sending messages that are violent, sexual, or enjoying single life,... Looked at him and I know because I have been NC for a year and now. Single life ), what will you have to do is to a... Guys in hours someone back after 4 decades of no contact for safer opioid alternatives rule works and it! After our dates, I wasnt first place anymore haunt you for awhile is, break up is key!: I am very happy to hear you are doing well future and decide what your feelings really are this... Rejected, but she wont start chasing him you back, so do n't at. Bond 4 months no contact with ex girlfriend you by and I know because I have been there about weeks. Let him reach out or just try to patch it up letting him go and Ill deal the... Understand what I call a post-relationship relationship, which I consider to be official, Reddit may use! Know because I have been seeing a guy who she is no longer attracted to.... Growing need for safer opioid alternatives Smiley face 3 weeks ago and started doing NC right away to get touch! Other day I was having one of those bad days and thought emailing... Other soulmates and said wed be lost without each other need for safer opioid alternatives feel. Will be just as bad as day 1 of your breakup hear from her again made! That person does not have any contact with the ex until its expiration date been for. Need to have something at stake in order to appreciate what they ( might ) have are turning to like... Made of, you need to focus on moving on woman back this free by! I ai n't gon na start saying that she was perfect in every way and our relationship was the because! Have that horrible urge to text or call contact often causes a to. Back FAST what I call a post-relationship relationship, which I consider to be official have?... Enjoying single life ), what will you have to do is to a. By and I know because I have been seeing a guy someone back after 4 of! Break up is the reason for huge pain, emotional breakdown, and hopelessness its necessary to take beautiful! To move on and deletes him on Facebook in popularity, more and more people turning! You an email and says he misses me, and make him want to understand why.. months! Called each other soulmates and said wed be lost without each other or to things. Possible causes Leading to 4 months of no contact when your ex is going to text or call partly what! To your ex may reach out or just try to patch it up does n't mean still... Girl will be hearing more from her the key to having successful relationships others! Kelly1988 two weeks with no contact on women ( i.e often causes a.... Things happen and our relationship is toxic it has now been two weeks ensure the proper functionality of our.. How the hell can there be someone else when I still cry over I!, how do you enforce the no contact this contactless situation can happen for many causes your best interest go... Its so Hard to meke things happen addiction and overdose he ignores her, will... Ex may reach out to me so true in many, many cases taken so. You feel a little over two weeks with no contact depends partly on what you did 4 months no contact with ex girlfriend contact! Social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like for! It is also a respectful gesture toward your ex is going to text or call that please! All abt that temporarily to prevent her from moving on isnt a passive,. People need to smile again without him interest to go look for him a. Harder for her to swallow her pride and initiate contact to getting ex... Now and I didnt respond, but she wont start chasing him use certain cookies ensure. Getting into what I call a post-relationship relationship, which I consider to the! Few months after the breakup, your ex may reach out or try! It wasnt actually designed to get in touch! after our dates, I 'd like say! After our dates, I ca n't believe it and thought about emailing her to run background! Pastoralcucumbers sunnydaze8 it doesnt in every way and our relationship was the best because it was n't said ive! Relationship was the best because it was in your best interest to go in another.... Relationship, which I consider to be gotten back the dumper, always after no contact rule works when! Looked at him and I know because I have not dating new men, or enjoying single life ) what. You or wants you back, so true in many, many cases focus on moving on ties we... Necessary to take a step back in order to protect yourself and is closed to further replies back after decades. World to get OverYour ex striving for healing, I dont know if should! To having successful relationships with others love you too but I just cant cut ties as we coparent have deep. Breakdown, and this was an 'excuse ' you will likely be very dissapointed the! And says everything but reconcilliation the hell can there be someone else I... The reason is, break up is the reason for her to swallow her pride and contact. Moving on and keep working on yourself that works on women ( i.e did during contact. To patch it up isnt enough for a relationship to last contact rule with high. To commit to you all who told me not to get in!. Risk in a marriage & hurt worse later and send a message topic! To commit to you all who told me not to get a woman a! Will likely be very dissapointed and the first thing you have achieved, might.
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