The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! ". I watched you guys open everything. DON'T. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. Thank you for following us on this journey. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. i have failed me. But you cant have both. Probably something gross like last time. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. It's too late to impress them. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. IE 11 is not supported. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Because, you know, it was a really good box. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Wishing you all a good weekend! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. This is exactly why I wanted chips! The sun is shining. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Well, yeah. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Enjoy. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Just sell the vehicle. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. Me: You mean red light, green light. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm getting popcorn. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. All 7 minutes of it. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Just one. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. You really showed that glass! Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I got-Me: I know. I didn't know it was that serious. unless theres ice cream later. I got mad. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Part of HuffPost Parenting. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Sign up to follow me here! My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. AGAIN. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Hold on to it. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 5 min read. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. from the couch. ". Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My kids knew that. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Not you AND your baby!" Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Turn it off! Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
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